Original article by Tri Ardhya on ABC
The ABC News article titled As fertility rates fall, mums of three kids share joy and sacrifice of big families tells a story of courage and renewed hope. It collects the testimonies of Australian women who chose to welcome a third child in an aging world, where individualism is the norm.
Being a mother of a large family in such a world often means encountering difficulties, stigma, and being open to sacrifices. As Dian Winata (Australian with Indonesian origins, mother of three) tells, she had to come back to work right after the caesarean birth of her third child, just two weeks later. And that’s not because she loves her job immensely, but because her family could not help but have a second source of income.
In a world tailored for dual-income households, being a mother full-time seems not to be an option.
Ms. Winata and her husband, Steven Halim, both work full time in order to be able to cover their mortgage and everyday living expenses. They have an 11-year-old son and two daughters, aged six and four. Their second daughter is affected by autism, and until they gained permanent residency in 2024, her parents had to pay thousands of dollars for support services. Now, they are eligible for the National Disability Insurance Scheme (NDIS), which has helped ease that financial burden from their shoulders.
Ms. Winata said that what they had sacrificed was the time they could have spent more with the kids, as it had to be split with work. She added that what used to be their rest time ended up being spent playing with the kids instead.
The word “sacrifice” also appears in Lauren Treweek’s testimony, in which she describes her career setbacks as a consequence of the “motherhood penalty”, that is, according to Dr. Sandra Buchler’s (PhD in sociology from The University of Queensland) definition: “the negative consequences women experience in the workplace due to being a mother”.
Paula Gaziero, mother of three children aged five, three, and four months — and a former worker in hospitality and administration with the desire to pursue a career in accounting — has not returned to paid work after the birth of her third child.
Ms. Gaziero explained that choosing to stay at home with her children is a temporary sacrifice she gladly makes, as she wants to enjoy this brief season of their lives before focusing on her career. To manage on a single income, her family avoids expensive activities, avoids childcare costs by homeschooling her eldest son, and saves on rent by living on her husband’s family’s acreage in Queensland. She also highlighted Australia’s free healthcare as a major factor in enabling them to have multiple children, though she and her husband have not yet decided whether to have a fourth child. She described her decision to stay at home as a sacrifice she’s willing to make.
But along with the word sacrifice, in these women’s testimonies we find another one, more powerful, more important: joy. In fact, all the mothers interviewed in the article cited the feeling of joy and complete fullness as a cornerstone of their being mothers of a large family.
From deciding to spend the little amount of free-from-work time to play with their children in Ms. and Mrs. Winata’s case, to Lauren Treweek discovering joy in getting excited to learn about the “new little person” each child represents, Australian mothers of three are happy about their experience of motherhood and they find joy in being mothers.
As Paula Gaziero says about her children’s early childhood years: “It’s a season, and it’s a beautiful season, and I want to enjoy the most of it.”
In a country (and a world) that continues to age, being a mother and giving new life to three children is an undeniable act of hope and courage. According to data from the Australian Bureau of Statistics —which will release new figures in November — the total fertility rate in 2024 was 1.48 births per woman, according to data from the Australian Bureau of Statistics, which will release new figures in November. This number is deemed to drop to 1.34 children per woman by 2065, according to statistics. The choice to have (or not to have) children is not only a matter of personal views. As the Australian National University demographer Liz Allen states, having children has become considerably more difficult because of “the social, economic and cultural supports are inhospitable to having a much-wanted child”.
Ultimately, choosing to bring new life into an aging world is a profound vote of confidence in the future—proving that despite the financial and personal costs, the reward of family remains priceless.